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EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS
"Everybody Hates Promises"
CLOSED CAPTIONED

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CHRIS ROCK:
When I was elected president
of Corleone,

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my school was way ahead
of its time.

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The rest of the country

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didn't get a black president
until Clinton.

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Like all presidents,
I had made campaign promises

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that were going
to be hard to keep.

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I promise you no more
rope-climbing in gym

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unless your favorite sport
is climbing rope.

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I promise no more homework
on Saturday

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unless you got to be
in school on Sunday.

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I promise all our book reports
will be on books

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that were made into movies.

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I promise you rubber floors,

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so that when the bully
knocks you down,

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you'll bounce right back up.

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We've got spring break,
we've got summer break.

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What about a fall break
and a winter break?

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I don't want to come to school
when it's hot,

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so why would I want to come
to school when it's cold?

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CROWD:
Chris, Chris, Chris,
Chris, Chris, Chris!

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To win my office,

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I told them everything
they wanted to hear.

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There was only one problem.

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They listened.

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You promised
you'd take us to a Knicks game.

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You promised
I'd get a new locker.

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You promised I'd get a raise!

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You promised I'd get a shave.

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You promised we'd get
some real meat.

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Usted me prometí
de enseñarme ingles.

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What are you going
to do about it?

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I had no idea
what I was going to do.

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So I did what
all great leaders do.

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I'll get right on it.

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I promise.

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* Oh... make it funky now!

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Captioning sponsored by
CBS PARAMOUNT
NETWORK TELEVISION

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CHRIS:
My new promise
to keep my old promises

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was seen as very unpromising.

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Hey, Greg!

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"Hey, Greg"? Did you
see the school paper?

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We have a school paper?

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Bush wasn't the first president
who didn't read the paper.

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What did I lie about?

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Apparently you lied
about everything.

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The last true thing I said was,

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"My name is Chris and I'm
running for president."

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I didn't mean any
of that stuff.

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Caruso stole my speech.
He's no better than me.

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Yeah, but he didn't win.

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Now you're stuck with all
those campaign promises.

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All presidents lie
to get elected.

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What do they do?

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Distraction. They just force
the press to cover

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other, more benign issues,

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until the public loses
interest in the story.

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Maybe we should ignore the
problem till it goes away.

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I was thinking more like
setting the cafeteria on fire,

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but we'll try it
your way first.

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I'll get it.

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Oh, hi, Uncle Mike.

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Hi.
While I was looking for help,

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my Uncle Michael
was looking for a free meal.

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Big man!

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Hey, Uncle Mike.

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Hey, I didn't know y'all
was having dinner.

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Why would you?
It's only dinnertime.

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My Uncle Michael
didn't have a job,

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so he was always
free to stop by

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and free to eat some free food.

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I didn't know y'all
was having breakfast.

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I didn't know
y'all was having lunch.

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I didn't know y'all
was having pancakes.

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We're in a pancake house.

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My father and Michael
didn't get along

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because whatever
my father said,

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my uncle said the opposite.

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I like the Ford.

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I like the Chevy.

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I want to go
see Picasso.

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I want to go
see Matisse.

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Mmm.

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Tastes great.

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Less filling.

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ROCHELLE:
Uh... Chris,

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why don't you get
your uncle a plate?

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Mama, can you teach me how
to double Dutch?

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You don't know how
to double Dutch?

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It's easy.

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If it's so easy,
why don't you teach her?

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That's a girl game.

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How do you know to
double Dutch anyway?

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I don't know. Just do.

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So are you gonna teach me?

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No.

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Yeah.

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MICHAEL:
So, Chris,

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what's up with you?

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Well, I was voted

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eighth grade class president.

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Uh-oh! Just like
Jesse Jackson.

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Ronald Reagan is the president.

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Jesse Jackson's just a resident.

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You might like Reagan,
but he don't like you.

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I like my nephew.

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Black president.

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Way to go, yo.

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Uncle Michael had finished
dinner, but he wasn't finished.

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That was good, 'Chelle.

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Oh, thanks. How's Momma?

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She threw me out.

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Threw you out?!

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Well, what happened?

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You know how Momma always
give you half of something.

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Well, there was a piece of
cake in the refrigerator.

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So I ate the whole thing.

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Next thing I know,
she just started tripping.

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Talk about,
"You eat up everything.

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You need to get a job
and buy your own cake."

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You believe that?

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Yes.
Momma been tripping
since Daddy died.

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Well, where are you staying?

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I was wondering if
I could stay here

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with you a couple days.

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Oh, I don't know, Michael.

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I gotta ask Julius that.

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Thank you, sis.

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You know I love you.

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Translation:
"Where am I sleeping?"

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"Will President be Impeached"?

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Who's talking about
you getting impeached?

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Maybe it's about time
we start thinking

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about that cafeteria fire.

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My father was tired from work
and tired of Uncle Michael.

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Where's Uncle Michael?

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Oh, he's upstairs
asleep in my room.

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Sounds like a night
at the Neverland Ranch.

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You all right?

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Mmm, yeah. I'm just
having some problems at school.

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You're president. What kind
of problems could you have?

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I made some campaign promises
that I can't deliver.

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So now they want to impeach me.

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That's what you get.

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What?

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How would you like it if I said
I was gonna do something for you

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and didn't
do it?

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Oh. Okay, so then
what should I do?

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I don't know. I didn't promise
to tell you what to do,

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but you got yourself
in this mess.

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Whatever happens, happens,

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but it's your responsibility.

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My father didn't believe
in making promises,

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which was tough for him
because they were free.

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Back at school, it was
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Truth.

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Why did you write all
this stuff about me?

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And who said
I was getting impeached?

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It doesn't say
you're getting impeached.

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It's asking, "Will you
get impeached?"

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Well, who asked
will I get impeached?

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My sources.

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What sources?

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What would you think
if Chris got impeached?

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Is Chris going to be impeached?

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I think you're a fraud.

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I think you were
lying then, and

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I think you're lying now.

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This is totally unfair
because you've got

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a personal ax to grind.

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What ax?

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Your boyfriend Ping is running

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with Caruso
and he lost.

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You just want revenge.

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Ping is not my boyfriend.

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He's not?

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No.

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Say, what are you
doing after school?

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Greg.

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Sorry.

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I'm gonna continue
to pursue the truth

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wherever it leads me.

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Now get out of my office.

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Fine.
Fine

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That was fair and balanced.

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While Lisa was
in pursuit of the truth,

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Uncle Michael was in pursuit
of a snooze.

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I got my first lesson in ethics

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and Tonya was getting hers
in double Dutch.

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Drew, I'm ready for you to
teach me how to double Dutch.

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Double Dutch is hard.

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I mean, you can't just
jump right into it.

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How come?

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'Cause double Dutch
is a serious sport.

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What do you think this is,
single Dutch?

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No.
Okay, then.

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You can start by stretching.

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Can you touch
your toes?

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How many times?

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I'll let you know.

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Just keep stretching.

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And after this,
we'll do knee bends.

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Tonya got stretched, and so
did my father's patience.

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Why is your brother
sleeping on my couch?

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Him and Momma got
into a little fight.

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It'll just be for a few days.

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You couldn't ask me?

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I was going to.

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I don't want my kids
waking up in the morning

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getting used to seeing a grown
man sleeping on the couch.

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Don't worry, Julius,
he'll be gone soon.

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How soon?

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Julius, he's family, okay?

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00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,117
Just be patient.

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Big man!

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00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,557
That couch is kinda rough.

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00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,192
'Chelle, did you make
anything to eat?

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I'm hungry.

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00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,262
Better make that food to go.

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00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,632
Michael, didn't you
eat last night?

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Yeah.
It's afternoon now.

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00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,638
86... 87... 88...

222
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:25,739
89...
What you doing?

223
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,007
Jumping jacks.

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00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,708
Why?

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00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,109
Because Drew's gonna teach me

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00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,243
how to double Dutch.

227
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,079
By doing jumping jacks?

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00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,314
He says it's gonna
build up my endurance.

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00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,817
Drew!

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00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,552
Come in the house,
it's time to eat.

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Come on.

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00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,226
Hey, Tonya. Tomorrow,
we'll work on your footwork.

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00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,195
I thought you said
we were gonna work

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00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,129
on hand-eye coordination.

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That's the day after tomorrow.

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00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:51,999
Come on.

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While Drew
gave Tonya the runaround,

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00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,203
Uncle Michael just ate
and sat around.

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Mmm. This is good.

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So, how you doing,
Mr. President?

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Not so good.

242
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,677
Why, baby

243
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:04,812
Well, being class president

244
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,080
is a little bit harder
than I thought.

245
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,182
You gotta pay the cost
to be the boss.

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00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,317
Ha-ha! I know that's right.

247
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,952
Y'all listen to your uncle.

248
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,587
She didn't say that
when he told us

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00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,255
to invest our money
in parachute pants.

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TONYA:
Hey, Daddy.

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00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,257
Hey.

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00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,159
Big man! Sit down

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00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,194
and have some
of this chicken.

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Mmm. It's good...

255
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:26,133
That look means, "You're lucky
I don't have heat vision."

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00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,969
Baby, why don't you
come over here and sit down?

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00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,738
I-I'll get you
a dinner plate.

258
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,646
So, uh, you been out
all day looking for work?

259
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,113
No, I've been here all day.

260
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,348
Why is that?

261
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,716
It's cold out there,

262
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,984
but it's warm in here.

263
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,686
Um...

264
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,188
Michael, why don't you
run out to the store

265
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,623
and, uh, get us some Nestea?

266
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,258
But The A Team
about to come on.

267
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,626
That's my program.

268
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,628
I love me
some Mr. T.

269
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,096
"I pity the fool."

270
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,698
That's my boy.

271
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:58,666
Michael!

272
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,233
Go get the Nestea.

273
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,308
Here you go, baby.

274
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,377
Okay?

275
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,146
Now, is there anything else
I could get for you?

276
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,849
No. I just want
to sit in my chair.

277
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,351
That face means
there's nothing worse

278
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,888
than sitting on a hot chair
warmed by a lazy ass.

279
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,356
Mommy made you
really good spinach.

280
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,259
Mmm! Yummy.
Mm! Mm!

281
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,899
Michael, you talk
to Momma yet?

282
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,035
Nah. I'm giving her a chance
to calm down.

283
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,236
You got to leave.

284
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,005
If Julius finds you
here tomorrow,

285
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,107
I don't know
what he's going to do.

286
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,210
If I go home, I don't know
what Momma gonna do.

287
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,278
You got one more night.

288
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,147
Okay, 'Chelle.

289
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,249
Dang.

290
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,021
And stay out of Julius' chair.

291
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,893
Back at school,
I stopped making promises,

292
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,729
and started making demands.

293
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,097
I'd like all book reports
to be on books

294
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,133
that were made into movies.

295
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,836
Are you high?

296
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,805
I'm asking, not judging.

297
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,173
No.

298
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,342
I'm just trying
to fulfill my campaign promises.

299
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:19,212
Just for curiosity's sake,
what else did you promise?

300
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,749
A TV in the library,
more field trips,

301
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,117
instituting recess,
and no more detention.

302
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,353
Chris, how are you going
to know how to act

303
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,255
when you get stopped
by the police

304
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,723
if we don't give you detention?

305
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:32,325
Let me explain something
to you, Chris.

306
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,228
The Office of Class President
is titular.

307
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,296
What

308
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,297
Titular, Chris.

309
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:40,033
It means you don't have
any power, just a title.

310
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,435
The first thing
I should have done as President

311
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,337
was change the meaning
of "titular."

312
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,140
Well, you're saying that,
even though I'm Class President,

313
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,176
I can't change anything
around here?

314
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,177
Exactly.

315
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,112
Well, if I don't have any power,

316
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,881
how can you let them impeach me?

317
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,983
I mean, come on,
I can't do anything.

318
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,351
Can I at least
get French fries at lunch?

319
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,221
I always thought you'd be more
the sweet potato type.

320
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,423
MRS. MILONE:
The point is, Chris,

321
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,457
the students run the
student government,

322
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,126
and they can do
what they want.

323
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,761
And I can't do anything.

324
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:08,796
That's not true.

325
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,030
Maybe you can talk them into

326
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,064
letting you stay in office.

327
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,465
That's a good idea.

328
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,301
Give another one
of those speeches.

329
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,336
But if I can make
a suggestion,

330
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:21,474
maybe this time
you should try rhyming.

331
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,176
Maybe you should try Prozac.

332
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,045
Did you know
I didn't have any power?

333
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,947
What are you
talking about
you got no power?

334
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,115
You're the president.

335
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:30,951
I'm a figurehead,
like Mayor McCheese,

336
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:34,788
like Colonel Sanders,
like Dr. Detroit.

337
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,390
Dipaolo told a guy we were going
to put cherry Kool-Aid

338
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,826
in the water fountains.

339
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,093
Dipaolo?

340
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,095
Well, that was
another bad idea.

341
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,263
Tell me about it.

342
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,433
I thought being president
would help make us more popular

343
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:47,734
and help solve some problems.

344
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,170
All it did was cause
more problems and make
more people hate you.

345
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,172
Here he is!
Well, at least things
can't get worse... Hey!

346
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,275
Gotcha!

347
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,344
You think you can steal my stuff
and get away with it?

348
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,511
I didn't take this.
These kids ran by

349
00:12:58,545 --> 00:12:59,847
and they dropped it
on my table!

350
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,281
Good, tell it
to the police.

351
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,349
Greg, where you going?!
Come on.

352
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,952
While he's grabbing me,
three white kids grabbed

353
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,586
everything in
his cash register.

354
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,555
It wasn't me!
Shut up! Shut up!

355
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,864
"Heist By Class President Foiled
as Impeachment Looms"?

356
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,365
GREG:
This is outrageous!

357
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,467
How are you going
to call me a liar?

358
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,434
You're the liar.
I'm not guilty.

359
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,536
They found the real guys
five minutes later.

360
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,273
I had a deadline. School was out
in an hour and a half.

361
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,274
You couldn't wait 30 minutes

362
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,476
to find out whether your story
was true or not?

363
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:32,545
You're the class president,
this is the news.

364
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,513
We wouldn't have printed it

365
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,383
if you hadn't exhibited
a pattern of behavior.

366
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,918
What pattern?

367
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,552
Maybe I was guilty.

368
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,988
You're supposed
to be a journalist.

369
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,056
You can't in
good conscience
let this stand

370
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,357
without printing
a retraction.

371
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,625
He's gonna lose
his office.

372
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,461
I promise I'll print
a retraction.

373
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,933
What are you gonna do?

374
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,403
I don't know.
What can I do?

375
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,906
While I was hoping
Lisa kept her promise,

376
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,273
Tonya was showing some promise.

377
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,075
How much longer, Drew?

378
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,610
I'll tell you.

379
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,013
And after this,
you'll do wind sprints.

380
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,614
Dang!

381
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,517
Tonya trained harder
than Rocky.

382
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:17,024
My uncle hated to work so much,
he left a lazy stain.

383
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,191
Big man!

384
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,526
Is that my shirt?

385
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,629
I didn't even see that.

386
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,630
Popcorn?

387
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,634
Julius, let me explain.

388
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,003
I don't want to know,
I don't want to understand,

389
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,438
I don't even want to hear it.

390
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,539
I just want him gone.

391
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,441
Well, he has no place to go.

392
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,642
I don't care.

393
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,444
Him and my mother had a fight.

394
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,246
He about
to have a fight with me.

395
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,548
What's he doing
with my shirt on?

396
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,184
Well, he spilled chocolate sauce
on his.

397
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,186
My chocolate sauce?
Well...

398
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,955
Now he's spilling my food,
he's wearing my shirt,

399
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,923
sitting on my couch,
eating my popcorn,

400
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,259
watching my television,
burning my electricity.

401
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,127
Julius, he's my brother.

402
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:59,599
Okay. How much longer
do I have to deal with this?

403
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,234
Not much longer.

404
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:04,571
Baby, because you're so
understanding about this,

405
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:09,642
I am going to make your favorite
cheese grits for breakfast.

406
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,510
Cheese grits?

407
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,578
Uh-huh.

408
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,546
I love them cheese grits.

409
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,614
I know you do.

410
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,985
Baby, I promise you
he'll be gone by tomorrow, okay?

411
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,054
My dad had heard that before;
I think it was yesterday.

412
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,122
Extra cheese?

413
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,124
Extra cheese,
sharp cheddar.

414
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,292
Sharp cheddar.
Sharp cheddar.

415
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:28,328
MRS. MILONE:
Inasmuch as our own student
government

416
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,964
reflects the reality
of our actual government,

417
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:33,633
malfeasance on the part
of our seated president

418
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,003
has brought us to this
impeachment hearing.

419
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,239
All right, Kingfish,
you got the floor.

420
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,342
Okay, over the past few days,

421
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,377
rumors have been circulated
about me.

422
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:48,348
The press have put out stories

423
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,583
saying that I'm guilty
of a lot of things.

424
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,419
Are you done?

425
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,054
No.

426
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,655
I didn't do any of those things.

427
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:56,556
I'm not a crook.

428
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,226
Nevertheless...

429
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,194
After talking to Greg,

430
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,563
I imagined what my father
would say to me.

431
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,731
So you're just gonna
quit, huh?

432
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:08,135
All these people who made it
possible for you to become

433
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,771
the first black class president,
and now you're just gonna quit?

434
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,341
Yeah, and what if we quit?

435
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,576
Black people would never have
become pilots.

436
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,746
If I had quit, pancakes
would taste like crap!

437
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,315
If I had quit, Cream of Wheat
would have been called

438
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,750
Cream of White!

439
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:28,155
If I had quit, it would take
hours to cook rice.

440
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,491
Chris,
I know you don't think

441
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:32,659
being eight-grade class
president

442
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:37,264
is a big deal,
but one day it will be.

443
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,102
If people tell you enough times
that you're wrong,

444
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,137
sometimes you forget
that you're right.

445
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,672
They could impeach me
if they wanted,

446
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,774
but I wasn't going
to stand there

447
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,377
and let them call me
a liar and a cheat.

448
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,345
The reason I'm here now
is because the newspaper

449
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,615
has put out stories saying
that I lied and I cheated.

450
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,284
And I promised you

451
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,519
that I would try to change
things around here.

452
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:03,223
Well, I tried,
and it didn't work.

453
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,126
Well, at least not yet.

454
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:09,262
I still want to be
your class president,

455
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,632
it's just that I need another
chance to make things right.

456
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,135
Y'all believed in me before.

457
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,437
You can keep believing
in me now.

458
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,206
Fight the power, Chris.

459
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,773
Fight the power.

460
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,709
JOEY:
All right, all those
in favor

461
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,078
of impeaching Chris,
raise their hand and say "Aye."

462
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,447
ALL:
Aye!

463
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,581
What?

464
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,783
All right, the ayes have it.

465
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,018
You're impeached.

466
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:36,489
I didn't even get a chance
to touch a fat white woman.

467
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,828
Hey, how come
you're not training?

468
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,730
Because Drew lied to me.

469
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,333
I did everything he asked.

470
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,102
I ran through tires,
I did wind sprints

471
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,803
and I still
can't double Dutch.

472
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,439
Well, I'll help you.

473
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,406
You will?

474
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,073
Yeah.

475
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,577
You already know how to do this.

476
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,747
Just count it out
and when I say "go," go.

477
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,316
Okay, ready... go.

478
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:07,654
* Oh... cut footloose

479
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,790
* Oh, cut footloose
I'm doing it! I'm doing it!

480
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,824
Thanks, Drew.

481
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,794
What?

482
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,844
Big man!

483
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,214
I see why
these cheese grits

484
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,883
are your favorite.

485
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,186
Mm-mm.

486
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,358
Julius, come on, man!

487
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,794
I said I'm sorry, man!

488
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,728
Julius!

489
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,430
What?

490
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,765
Can I at least get my clothes,
man?

491
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,501
You want your clothes?

492
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,870
I got your clothes.
I got your clothes.

493
00:18:57,904 --> 00:19:00,607
That's for eating
my cheese grits.

494
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,776
Julius, this is
wrong, man.

495
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,778
I'm gonna tell 'Chelle
about this!

496
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,646
What you looking at?!

497
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,249
You ain't never been throwed out
before?

498
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,750
This is wrong, man!

499
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,018
Over some grits?!

500
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,887
My father eventually came
downstairs to return his sock,

501
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,822
but he shoved it somewhere

502
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,757
that Uncle Michael
couldn't reach it.

503
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,959
I need a ride, man!

504
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,229
Getting impeached taught me
a valuable lesson:

505
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,730
only make promises
you can keep.

506
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,732
From then on, I just promised
to eat pizza

507
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:26,866
and watch the Knicks game.

508
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,868
She promised
a retraction. Here it is.

509
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,505
Do you see this?
This is tinier than

510
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,374
the print in the Bazooka
Joe comic strip.

511
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,477
Well, we had a good run
and we made history.

512
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,711
Yeah, I know.

513
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,913
I was the first class
president ever to
be impeached.

514
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,583
I wonder who's
going to replace you.

515
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,318
Probably Dipaolo.

516
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,654
Great, we're gonna have
an idiot for president.

517
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,890
Who knew Greg could see
into the future?

518
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,659
See you later.

519
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,364
Hey, check this out.

520
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:00,967
There's cherry Kool-Aid coming
out of the water fountain.

521
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:06,739
* Everybody hates Chris.

522
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,880
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Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org